(for my grandmother)
You think about how you needed that one thing to work &
come together, gadget by gadget, to figure out, how it will possess a gravity
of its own.
& then you seem to expect it to blend into the “unrealistic” expectations
you keep at the back of your throat, you know, the ones you refuse to say
aloud because you know no one is listening.
& then you get it.
The thing you’ve been waiting for is happening somewhere else
& you won’t be able to see it. It’s approaching what you need without you,
&you’ve lost the full use of your reasoning mind; the only part of you
that was whole.
& so you decide to pretend you’re not watching although
it’s quite hard not see everything even when you’re eyes are closed,
and if only it didn’t hurt so bad every time you blinked maybe
you could have rearranged the gadgets in functioning order,
no one is listening…